Friday while at law school.
7:00am What am I doing? Oh right, a property exam. And Spiderman 3!!! It’s gonna be awesome!! I need coffee…
7:15am 45 minutes until the exam….I better hurry. Wow, I get to watch Spiderman 3 afterwards though, that should be awesome! Man, this coffee is hot.
8:00am Wow, this first part of the exam is THICK. Fuck it, I’ve got this.
8:01am Um, hrmm……..skipping that one….
8:02am This is gonna take a while….
8:30am This blows. I’ll be watching Spiderman 3 later though, this is worth it.
9:30am Shit, 45 minutes left? Ok, well, I’m on pace still……
10:30am Starbucks, check. Exam check. Wait, what do you mean there’s a typo? Wtf
11:30am Ugh, there’s MORE essays? What the hell do you mean there’s a mobile home on the land?
12:10pm There’s another essay?????
1:10pm What the hell do you mean 5 minutes left?
1:13pm Great, SecureExam crashed. Good job. I thought this shit was fixed.
1:15pm Done. Sweet. Spiderman 3 in a few hours!!
3:45pm Sweet, there’s a Simpsons movie prop where you can sit next to Homer. Badass.
4:10pm Spiderman 3 is starting!!
4:30pm Sweet, that crazy airboard thing that Harry has is AWESOME! What the, wait, that scene is over? Damn it.
4:45pm It’ll pick up, its just starting…..this is all build up to the good part. They have to put in some plot to fill the time. Wait, are they crying?
5:15pm Venom IS in this movie right?? Is that Topher Grace?
5:30pm Ok, it REALLY needs to pick up now. This is getting boring. Where’s Venom? Why are they crying? Shit, is that guy in the row in front of us snoring? Wow, he’s loud.
6:00pm The movie is still on. Why is this movie still on? I was promised Venom. Where is he? Shit, more crying?
6:30pm Ok, Venom. FINALLY. This scene is gonna be AWESOME!!! Wait, is that a …. you’re kidding me. You’re crying again. I thought we were past this. This is an action movie right?
6:45pm Where’s the big fight?
7:25pm FINALLY!!! Venom is gonna kick ass!!
7:35pm That’s it? You call that a fight? Seriously, its over? Why were those kids thrown into the movie with their random and completely out of place comments?
7:40pm Why is this sappy scene here? They have to bring back Venom at the end. They HAVE to leave a teaser for the next movie they’re already talking about making. There’s no way they’ll end it on this.
7:45pm How dare you roll the credits. That sucked.
Spiderman 3 sucked. They spent their $258 million badly. Hire better writers next time. We really didn’t need all the crying. The multiple bad guys was a cool idea, but you had them fight for like 30 minutes in the whole movie. How long did we even see Spiderman during the movie?
Sure special effects cost money. But um, I dunno, perhaps less character development of irrelevant characters? Like I care about the police commissioner’s daughter. Didn’t need that. Peter Parker walking down the sidewalk thinking he’s a pimp? Yeah, didn’t need that. We get the point, he has a big head and is now a prick.
It was a disappointment. Spiderman 1 was amazing. Spiderman 2 was good. Spiderman 3 sucked. Please pull a Batman Begins out of the hat and save this series. This movie will probably still make good money at the box office. I’m just sad I contributed.
tags:
law-school,
property-exam,
spiderman-3
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