December 2006

Come to the Dark Side

The new Pope really does have a certain look to him. Sorta like Emperor Palpatine.

Pope

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Future Congressman

Congressional aides. I’d guess such a position would help a person get a toehold into the world of politics. It makes sense that, by running coffee and miscellaneous errands, you’d get a handle on what politics was about.

If thats the case, Todd Shriber’s attempt to get a hacker to change his grades from college will give him the credentials to fit right in.

This is all the funnier because Attrition decided to post the email conversations it had with Todd while “negotiating” the terms of the hack.

You know people are serious when they ask for a picture of a pigeon or a squirrel to prove you’re “legit”.

Ha ha!

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Rosie O’Donnell is a fat bitch

I don’t watch “The View” because I have things to do in my life, like go to class, be a productive member of society, or post things to my blog. But apparently Rosie O’Donnell is on the show now.

A few days ago, she goes off and says this (Youtube video):

The fact is that it’s news all over the world. You can imagine in China, it’s like, “Ching chong ching ching ching chong Danny DeVito ching ching chong drunk The View ching chong.”

I’m glad to know she thinks that all Chinese people sound like that. Rosie sounds like a fat, ignorant bigot to us.

Her publicist puts out a statement saying Rosie is a comedian and people shouldn’t be so offended.

Her publicist should also remind Rosie that no one laughs at her jokes anymore. If you look at Rosie’s Wikipedia page, you notice she hasn’t done a comedy in a while. She wasn’t that funny when she was doing comedy anyways.

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Judging the former and potential future Secretarys of Defense

Before:
Rumsfeld

After:
Gates

The new guy sure can ham it up.

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Patronizing spam

So today in the mail box I see yet another lovely piece of junk mail. It doesn’t have my name its convenient little transparent address window. Rather, its addressed to:

Informed Consumer

Who is this informed consumer? That bastard gets a lot of mail in my mailbox.

Turns out later, after opening the letter, one of the baby Bells is trying to get me to sign up for service. But if I’m an informed consumer, doesn’t that mean I’ve consciously avoided their service by my knowledge of the options available in the marketplace?

I think the following form names for spam would be better. By better, I mean at least more humorous.

  • Douchebag who uses his cellphone instead of a land line like a normal person
  • Guy who won’t give us money for a land line he’ll never use

And for other possible spammers:

  • Sucker paying too much for car insurance
  • Moron who believes his cell network actually has the least dropped calls
  • Person who hates kittens
  • Debt free (besides student loans) bastard who isn’t letting us charge him with interest

At least I’d smile before I threw out the letters.

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